'Some are born to sweet delight...'

Ok, I seriously can't think of a thing to say.  I've started about seven or eight blogs and have trailed off of each one.  A bad case of blogger's block.
Soooo- what's happened.  Let's see if I go through with this.

Looking out the window the other morning, I saw the entire Vietnamese family across the street gaping to the left of my house.  Apparently the two little Russian boys were beating the crap out of each other.  Victoria Hui was both shocked and horrified, and was making violent hitting motions to me across the street to convey the 'badness' of the two little scoundrels.  One thing is certain- Victoria Hui would NEVER allow such behavior in her household.  Victoria has warned me time and again that the Russians are 'TROUBLE'.  Because Victoria is my elder, and because it was my daughter's car that they were fighting over, I dutifully walked over and stared at them, but not being able to think of a thing to say (not to mention the fact that they wouldn't understand it anyway) I smiled and walked back to my house.  Boys will be boys, Victoria, boys will be boys.

Sunday morning Joe emerged from the bed room in a vest and white t-shirt with a stately and virtuous air about him.  He announced that we were going to church, and I complacently agreed.  Why not?  Joe obviously had a preconceived notion of what a 'religiously minded man' was like, and entered the church with a somber air- giving my family what my sister described as 'a silent nod'.  He gave me a crumpled five dollar bill to put in the collection basket (which he later accused me of taking credit for) and sat reverently through the service.  Another sinner bites the dust.

I took my mom to Piper's first doctor's appointment because I couldn't drive yet (it was a week after she was born).  My mom is not... status quo (for example, when a well meaning friend took her to a talk by Jane Goodell, everyone stood up and started clapping at the end.  My mom remained sitting grimly in her seat, being a staunch opponent of evolution).  Anyway, when the doctor asked me if there were any medical conditions in the family, I answered that Piper's father's half brother was slightly autistic, at which my mom burst into uncontrollable laughter drawing a bewildered look from both the doctor and myself.  Does anyone know what's funny about that?  Is nothing sacred?

Myla (aka the Bride of Chucky) has been acting like a psychopath lately- a bad case of sibling rivalry.  It's a good thing that Piper is still pretty much a tabula rasa because she would probably not be able to emotionally bear the diabolical hostility aimed at her, or her several close brushes with torture and maybe even death.  It doesn't seem fair that Myla enjoyed such a tranquil and enjoyable babyhood while poor Piper is always being poked and strategized against.  Piper's future seems bleak indeed- 'Some are born to sweet delight, and some are born to endless night.'  Rest assured my little Piper B.- Mommy's got your back.  And Norma Bates, Mommy loves you no matter what.

Speaking of 'Some are born to sweet delight' and Asians, my brother P (for the sake of anonymity I will not disclose his name HAHA) is the luckiest, most Asian white guy I've ever met.  Not only does he jet set around the world and catch more breaks than Paris Hilton, he gets along swimmingly with and most importantly is respected by Victoria.  While Victoria regards me as a fool ('YOU LAUGH, YOU FORGET!!!) , she has the utmost regard for Pete- for his abrupt mannerisms, loud voice, moccasins, subdued fashion sense and grey Honda.  She UNDERSTANDS P, and P understands her.  It was P who explained to me that Victoria was my elder, and that it was blatant disrespect to disregard her opinion of the Russians.  It was also P who assured me that I should give her grand children ice cream cones in return for her giving Myla an ice cream cone, and it was P who revealed to me the Vietnamese concepts of reciprocation and family honor.  Thank you P, for serving as an ambassador to Little Vietnam across the street.

Wow, I finished a blog!  The fact that I'm avoiding my online classes might have something to do with it.  Not that I don't love them- they're very accommodating to my solitary nature.  I'm planning on getting my doctorate online, teaching online and finally becoming the Dean online of an online school- all without any sort of human contact.  I can't wait for graduation, a ceremony that I've always avoided in the past- I've bought the Pomp and Circumstance CD which I will play in my room while I type in my valedictorian speech to all of my faceless fellow students wearing my special cap and gown!  In short, I am never LEAVING my ^%&*% HOUSE AGAIN!!!!!